A trillion by any other name....

As we listen daily to broadcasters, bankers and politicians talk about the current economic crisis we hear numbers like millions, billions and trillions. Most of us, myself included have trouble getting our heads around these numbers. I thought this would be helpful to make sense of these numbers.

1,000,000 (1 million) seconds equals ~0.031 years

1,000,000,000 (1 billion) seconds equals ~31.6 years

1,000,000,000,000 (1 trillion) seconds equals ~31,688.8 years


Lets see, one million seconds ago it was summer!

Worse yet, one billion seconds ago it was it was May of 1977!

If you can grasp this, one trillion seconds ago it was......29,679 BC

Perhaps this will bring the numbers that politicians throw around a bit more realistic for us all to grasp. Basically, we need to be aware of the debt we are in or that we are leaving our children, grandchildren and likely our great grandchildren! Happy Deficit Day!

NYSDOC, health care crisis

Living the life of a prison wife is perhaps the most difficult thing I have ever done. I often try to downplay the hardships of this life and to ignore my own pain. Why I am sharing this in my blog today is beyond me, perhaps it is because I have so much to say and still don't quite know who to say it too.

My husband has been denied medical care for a serious spinal condition since the middle of September. My calls to the prison were met with anger and disdain from the so called "counselor" that handles my husband. I was denied access to the Superintendent, told I had no rights to speak with the medical people or to even inquire about why my husband is being denied care. I wrote letters and made too many calls to count over the past 2 months trying desperately to get him seen.

Finally a man from the NYSDOC health services responded to my cries for assistance. As he reviewed my husbands chart he agreed that this was a very serious condition and assured me that my husband would be seen by a doctor. He was seen in the prison infirmary by a doctor that did not even request that his restraints be removed to examine him. With handcuffs and a chain around his waist the doctor, and I use that term very loosely, touched his back and said you look fine to me. Mind you he has had MRI's and CAT scans that show damage to his spine and serious damage to his nerve pathways. The specialist that he saw at Syracuse University prescribed regular physical therapy, which he has not been given. This doctor prescribed him Major-gesic, glorified tylenol, for severe nerve pain!!!

With little recourse and as we both write letters of grievance his condition is deteriorating rapidly. Never in my life have I felt so helpless. I spent the morning reading various reports on the status of health care in the NYSDOC and was not the least bit surprised to read that my husband's situation is the norm rather than the exception. There is no outside oversight of the Health Services, the NYS Health Department has no authority and no involvement in the care of prisoners of the state. The only recourse is within the system which is admittedly one of the worst in the nation. My hopes were dashed, my husband is still suffering and they have up to 2 months time to have him seen by a specialist. How can a broken system monitor itself?

With one million Americans in the prison system, these conditions will spill over to the "outside" world. Most prison inmates are released at some point, and many come out with chronic conditions that could have been avioded with routine and appropriate care. With the nation facing a health care crisis, these released men and women often can only seek care in the emergency rooms of our hospitals adding to the burden on an already overtaxed system.

A nation is only as strong as their weakest citizens. In the United States of America, a nation that boasts about her great compassion and advancements, our prison population is not only neglected but abused. We must do something to change this, to find a more appropriate way to ensure the safety and well being of this portion of our population.

What type of background noise is in your environment

I am a music lover, there is no doubt about that. From Mozart to Jimmy Hendricks, The Beatles to Tupac, New Age, R&B, classical, rock I love them all. Background noise in our environments can have an impact on our moods, concentration and even our health. Constant blaring televisions, traffic sounds, noise from airports, and construction sites can be very destructive to our well being. I have done an entry on the damage of constant exposure to high levels of noise and the damage done on this blog. Hearing is one of the senses that we tend to over look, it is important to brain function and the production of neurotransmitters in our brains.

Constant distractions of sound can tire us, stress us and keep us from being as productive as we may like to be. Every time we are distracted and need to refocus the toll on our bodies increases. With a television on as background noise the distractions are nearly constant. Anyone can easily notice the increased volume of the commercials that beam out of the set all day long. Commercials are designed to do one thing, get our attention! One third of the time a television is on a typical channel, we are bombarded with advertising. From the screaming used car salesman to the attention getting music in fast food commercials, our focus is drawn to the sound. Dr. Aric Sigman, associate fellow of the British Psychological Society has listed 15 negative effects of television. The list includes obesity, weakened healing, heart problems, weakened metabolism, poor eyesight, attention disorders, developmental problems, cancer, diabetes, early puberty, sleeping difficulties, hunger and slowed brain growth. Why on earth would we subject ourselves to this effect when we are busy doing other things?

Music has a very different influence on us. We are affected in many ways when we listen to music, quickened heart rates or increased relaxation, movement, mood and emotional changes, triggering memories. It is thought the key to the power of music is in the different ways the sound is processed by our brain. Endorphins produced by the brain lower blood pressure and adrenalin flow, improving coordination and productivity. We can use music to help us manage our moods, slow soft music induces relaxation and reduces anxiety while stimulating music increases our levels of arousal. We can set the tone of our day by the music we put on our CD players, MP3's or computers. If you need a boost of energy put some rock and roll on while you clean the house, for times of quiet reading or relaxation play some Mozart.

While it may seem a small thing, the background sounds can either benefit us or stress us. I find my best writing is done with soft soothing music in the background. I use either upbeat rock or lively intense classical to get me going on physical duties. When I forget to turn the television off after catching the morning news I find myself aggravated and struggling to stay focused. Once I realize that it is still on, turn it off and play some music it changes my entire mood. I find that silence too is beneficial for all of us for a period of time during the day. If you deal with traffic noise like I do, make your silent time early in the morning or late at night so the noises of cars and trucks don't ruin the moment. I hope that you will stop and pay attention to the sounds that make up the atmosphere around you.

Hurricanes of life.

Whether we call them curve balls, storms of life, bad situations or any other term, situations in life can throw us. I tend to think of these things as hurricanes. A hurricane is an amazing creation of nature, a series of perfect conditions create these huge storms. Though beautiful from the sky, they bring devastation and destruction to those unwary in their path. In life we too stand in places where events and circumstances can bring destruction to our lives. By viewing these things as hurricanes I am able to find some solace in them.

We are going through a very difficult time in our family, a family tragedy you could say. I have been doing what a mother does in times like these, holding the family together. Helping everyone to get a grip on the events, to find some sort of understanding from them, and perhaps a lesson or two in the process. Seeing a loved one make a terrible judgment and facing the consequences is not easy. Now that things have settled down a bit, (what a difference a week makes) I am home and finding my own way to deal with all of this.

I began to get swept away in the turmoil, finding myself thrown to and fro by the emotions and frustrations of the whole thing. I truly felt as though I was in the very center of a terrible storm. I thought of hurricanes and how they can devastate anything in their path. There are two options when faced with a storm of this magnitude, prepare or move out of the way. In a storm of life we often have warnings, I saw this coming yet the reality of the situation knocked me over for a few days.

When we see one of these storms from the sky they are beautiful, a harmonic movement of air and water. Hurricane hunters are sent to fly over the storm to take readings of air speed and pressure, yet they are unscathed. I began to understand that by placing my view of this situation above what is evident, I too could see things in a clearer way. As I am able to remove my reactions to these events and view things from a higher perspective, I am gaining clarity.

Now the damage has been done and recovery is what is left to do. Understanding that we each have a path to travel in life and using the wonders of our earth to find peace I am back on track once again. Next time a situation comes upon you find a way to get above the feelings and the obvious. Once we are able to gain a higher perspective, even the most difficult clouds have some silver lining.

Cloud love affair.

I have always loved the clouds. I am not ashamed to say I am a cloud nut and find myself gazing at them often. I see so much in them, their beauty and what the white wisps tell me about life, earth, the Creator and even myself at times. I know the clouds are just water vapor chilled at different levels of the atmosphere, but that makes their mystery even deeper for a soul like me.

Knowing that these wonders are but dust particles and water vapor frozen and grouped together, makes me think about the beauty of the simplest things. Dust and water, does it get more basic? Yet when they are combined in just the right way and placed in different conditions the variety is amazing. If we can find the right combination of the simple things our lives are made of, we too can become beautiful wonders. Our Mother Earth gives us clues and signs about our lives and our path in the most simple ways, in simple means. We see the cycles of nature, the seasons, the weather and the winds, all things move in their cycle and time. Our lives have times and seasons, the maiden, the mother and the crone we all have these times and seasons. From the joy and enthusiasm of youth to the wisdom of old age, if we mix the simple things of life together and see their value and beauty, we are truly blessed indeed.

The clouds are hopeful for me as well. In the heart of the poorest neighborhoods to the windows of a fancy Washington hotel, to the reflections in Lake Ontario I have watched the clouds. They are no less wonderful if seen with the backdrop of a lake or a modest home in a poor neighborhood. Their majesty gives beauty to the most difficult places on the earth. A prisoner can look from his window and view this site, a president from his office, a mother holding her baby in the sun on the porch; every person can look to the sky and see the majesty of creation. The Creator didn't have to make the hydration of the planet so spectacular, but it was done. It didn't need to be viewed from every corner of the earth, but it is. They didn't have to reflect the colors from the sun so beautifully, but they do. I see them as constant reminders of the beauty and love of the Creator.

If you aren't a cloud gazer, give it a try. I cannot tell you how many times I have been sad or lonely and seen the most amazing things in the sky that have let me know I am not alone. Looking at a cloud filled sunset is like food to the soul, whether from a window or shore, city or lake, bond or free, the sunset and sunrise are gifts for us. How often do we take notice of this? I challenge you to see a sunset, set you clock, do a post it note somewhere and check out a sunrise or sunset. Imagine the being that did that, watch it change and grow, take in the beauty and the serenity of that sun that we know will rise or set again. Find the security and hope that is there for the taking. You may find you will have a cloud love affair too.

Humans and animals, a link that is unbreakable.

Have you ever considered the value of animals? As a lifelong animal lover, I have always been taken by the great capacity for love that most animals have. Whether loving their fellow members of the animal kingdom or loving humans, this capacity cannot be ignored. We share this planet, our home, with these special spirits and we often take for granted their presence in our history, lives and future.

Ancient peoples worshiped animals as gods, saw them as representations of gods, believed their gods could inhabit them at will and venerated them. The nature of animals and our interdependence with them is part of the story of life here on earth. Every religion considers the animals sacred to one degree or another. From China, Africa, India, Europe, North America we have examples of this, it is our history. Cattle, elephants, baboons, cats, frogs, birds, serpents have all been depicted as gods by a diversity of cultures.

Anthropomorphism, attribution of human motivation, characteristics or behavior to inanimate objects,animals or natural phenomena, as relates to animals is part of our nature and history. From the writings of Aristophanes, The Birds and The Frogs in 400 B.C. to George Orwell's Animal Farm to Disney's many movies man attempts to understand himself and identify his behaviors through the animal kingdom. Sly as a fox, gentle as a lamb, and peaceful as a dove are just some of the many sayings we use in our regular speech demonstrating the link between our own behavior and that of animals.

The important place of animals in the lives of the human species is evident. Man's dependence on the animal kingdom cannot be ignored. They have been a source of food, clothing, companionship, wealth, protection and transport for all of our history and continue so up until this very day. With the large scale domestication of animals they now are dependent upon us as well. Yet modern man has lost respect and gratitude for this long standing interdependence.

The relationships between people and their pets is a wonderful and loving one most times. The simple act of stroking a cat or dog lowers blood pressure and brings feelings of peace and contentment and the medical community is now only scratching the surface of the benefits. Pet therapy in hospitals, nursing homes and mental health institutions is common today. Senior citizens are able to battle depression and loneliness, mentally challenged individuals receive comfort and troubled kids learn compassion from contact with pets.

The love and companionship of animals is something that is most valuable in my life. I have always had pets and as I grow older my understanding and spiritual appreciation for them only grows. Both man and animals are spirit creations of a loving God, the bond between our species is evidence of the vast nature of our Creator. The next time you reach down to pet your cat, dog, ferret or whatever pet you have, remember the spirit that is in them. Consider the reverence placed upon them, the vast history we share and our common bond as fellow travelers here on earth. Mother Earth will smile upon you as you care for and love her most innocent children.

Out of the darkness, into the light.

Domestic Violence is a plague, the damage goes far beyond the visible bruises and the broken bones. The signs are there if we look, long before the first hit, shove or punch the behavior is evident. It is a systematic destruction of a womans dignity. What is at issue is one thing, control!

The battering man feels the need to control his woman, his woman. He views the woman as his personal property, he feels that he is entitled to all of her. Isolation is one tactic that the batterer uses and this is his best tool. He will find fault with friends, family, and co workers. He begins to monopolize all her time, many times women find this flattering. They feel that he loves them so much that he wants all her attention. His efforts to "help" you make decisions, manage your money, choose what you wear,care for your home or career are first inroads to control. The controlling man will test the waters, checking to see what you are willing to surrender. Suggestions become subtle criticisms leaving the door open for you to do things his way. These and many other things are red flags that cannot be ignored.

How can you know if someone you love is being hurt? Of course, bruises, accidents, claims of clumsiness and falls are pretty obvious, but other things show too. Does your friend constantly apologize for the smallest things, find fault with herself frequently, or begin to have a change in her behavior and appearance? Regular visits, lunches, and other things begin to get canceled and never rescheduled. Constant phone calls from him, inquiring about her whereabouts or her reporting in on everywhere and everything she does. Is there a hesitation or resistance to speak with you on the phone when he is home? Does she make excuses for his behavior no matter how rude or unkind it may be, "he is having a bad day, he has so much on his mind". Problems making simple decisions without his input, needing his permission to make a change in plans, and an inability to tell him no. These are clear signs that something is terribly wrong.

What can you do? Be there for her, listen to what she says, and what she doesn't say. Reassure her of her worth and your love for her. Let her know that you see a change and that you love her and are concerned. Be a friend when she needs you, even if she is not always available to you as she was in the past. Let her know that no matter what you will not judge her. Shame will often keep a woman silent, fear of being judged by friends and family only keep the secret. If she does have injuries that you suspect, keep a private record of these things and bring up to her the amount of times she has been bruised or hurt over a period of time. (These records have helped to convict many batterers.) Leave the door wide open for her to confide in you, and pray that she will.

Once you know for certain that someone you love is being hurt, encourage her to get help. Most areas have shelters, hot lines, and services available free of charge. If she is resistant to get information about the topic, educate yourself and share with her what you learn. Most times when a woman is exposed to the truth about the patterns they live with, a crack is made in the darkness. Help her to set up a safety plan for herself and her children. Something as simple as a code that only the two of you know can save a life. Research available emergency housing, make plans for a safe place to go any time of the day or night. Stashing a few items of clothing, putting up some cash, having legal documents ready and in place when and if she needs to flee can give a woman a feeling of empowerment and the courage to leave.

A caring and trusted friend or family member can mean the difference between life and death, serious injury or safety, despair or hope. Of course this one entry can only scratch the surface of such a complex problem. Education and awareness are the very best weapons in the fight against Domestic Abuse. By remaining silent we only give power to the control exercised over a woman. This issue must for once and for all, come out of the darkness and into the light.

National Domestic Violence hotline
Signs and symptoms of Domestic Violence
On line support group for victims, survivors, and supporters